Saturday Night Date
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist asks, "How many?" "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I think tonight's the night. We're having dinner with her parents and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. So can I get 10?"
Later that evening he sit down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer but continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." The young man leans over to her and whispers, "And you never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
Albert Einstein and the Clever Indian
Once, the brilliant Albert Einstein found himself seated next to an Indian gentleman on a long-haul flight. The journey had been exhausting, and Einstein decided to break the monotony with a challenge.
Einstein proposed, "Why don't we have a friendly competition to pass the time? I'll ask you a question, and if you can't answer it, you owe me $5. Then, you ask me a question, and if I can't answer, I'll owe you $500." The Indian traveler agreed to the game.
Einstein began, "How far is it from Earth to the moon?" The Indian contemplated for a moment and then reached into his pocket, handing Einstein $5. "I don't know," he replied with a grin.
It was the Indian's turn, and he posed a riddle, "In the morning, it ascends the mountain on three legs, and in the afternoon, it descends on four. What is it?" Einstein furrowed his brow, pondering the riddle for an extended period. Finally, he conceded and handed the Indian $500.
As Einstein handed over the money, he couldn't resist asking, "Before I ask my question, what's the answer to your riddle?" The Indian traveler simply smiled, reached into his pocket, and handed Einstein $5, saying nothing more.
Chuck and the Dead Horse
Once upon a time, a young man named Chuck struck a deal with a farmer. Chuck bought a horse from the farmer for $250, and the farmer promised to deliver the horse the next day. However, when the farmer arrived at Chuck's place the following day, he had some unfortunate news: "I'm sorry, son, but I've got bad news. The horse has passed away."
Chuck, with a quick reply, said, "Well, in that case, can I have my money back?"
The farmer regretfully responded, "I can't do that, I've already used the money."
Chuck then asked, "Alright, how about you just bring me the horse's body?"
Perplexed, the farmer questioned, "What on earth are you going to do with it?"
Chuck confidently said, "I'm going to hold a raffle for it."
Amused, the farmer chuckled, "You can't raffle off a dead horse!"
Chuck, still undeterred, confidently remarked, "Oh, but I can. I just won't mention it's no longer among the living."
A month passed, and the farmer couldn't help but be curious, "So, what happened with that raffled-off horse, Chuck?"
With a smile, Chuck replied, "I did indeed raffle it off. I sold 500 tickets at five dollars each, and I made a grand total of $2500."
The farmer couldn't believe it, "But didn't anyone complain?"
Chuck grinned, "Well, just the guy who won. So I gave him his five dollars back."
The Three Vampire Bats
One night, in a rustic barn, two vampire bats engaged in a mutual admiration session.
"Wow, you're impressive. Judging by the fresh blood on your fangs, you must have had quite a feast tonight," remarked the first bat.
The second bat, being humble, responded, "Oh, it's nothing compared to you. Your entire head is practically bathed in blood. You must have had a better night."
Suddenly, a third bat flew into the barn, its entire body drenched in blood.
In awe, the first two bats exclaimed, "Incredible! Your whole body is crimson. You must have had an incredibly successful night. How many victims did you manage to catch?"
With a pained expression, the third bat replied, "None, actually. I just woke up and made a beeline for this barn through the cornfield. I completely forgot about the barbed wire fence that the darn farmer had just installed."
