The Presuppositions of NLP

NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) uses several presuppositions as a central principle and guiding philosophy. These principles can be seen as the core-beliefs of NLP, and are the basis and reference for the development and application of NLP. These basic principles are not claimed to be true or universally applicable, and can be viewed as a set of ethical values about life.

1. The map is not the territory

This is my favorite presupposition. Map and territory are two very different things. Territory is the real physical form of an area, while a map (like Google Map) is just an image that is used to describe a territory and what's in it.

Everyone has an internal "map" that they use to describe and view the territory called the world. This map is subjective and may differ from one to another. Even though they are in the same place, time and situation, one person can feel depressed while others may actually feel happy. Why? Because the maps they use are different, so their perceptions and interpretations of what is happening are also different.

Like a territory map, a person uses their internal map as a guide for reaching goals and living life. And like all other maps, this internal map needs to be reviewed periodically to ensure its accuracy and up-to-date. Because walking with an inaccurate map, or one that is no longer in accordance with current conditions, will only make us get lost and go round and round without direction.

If you feel that the method you are currently using is not working in your favor, maybe it's time for you to start revising your map. In life, there's always a way to upgrade your map to a more useful version, and when the map you use is different then everything will look and feel different too.

2. People respond according to their internal maps

As mentioned above, everyone has an internal map as a guide for them to view and live life. Attitudes, responses, and behaviors taken by a person are actually choices made based on this internal map.

You need to know what a person has been or is going through in life in order to understand why he or she is, for example, so tight-fisted. Maybe the reason is because of their unpleasant past experiences due to poverty, or maybe because they are being frugal for the birth of their first child, or it could be because they are really stingy from nature.

When you feel you don't understand someone, what you don't really understand is their internal map. In order to fully understand a person, and the choices they make, you first need to know and understand the internal map they use.

3. Meaning operates context-dependently

If you really want to understand what something really means, be it a person's behavior, an event, or anything else, then you can start by understanding the context of that thing.

Context is multifaceted. When a shop cashier smiles at you sweetly, it may have a different meaning and purpose than a sweet smile from, for example, your child. Having a broader understanding of the world and what's going on in it can make us more objective in assessing and responding to things. And this can be achieved if we see something based on its context.

4. Mind-and-body affect each other

We are more than just robots, soulless machines that move based on the programs embedded in them. We are sentient beings called humans with complex conceptional features about knowledge, reality, truth, consciousness and the meaning of life.

The soul and body influence each other and are very closely bound together. Only focusing on the physical and forgetting the soul cannot be justified. That's the wrong concept. When the body is miserable the soul is miserable, and vice versa. The use of exercise as part of depression treatment, the human tendency to become more emotional when life's burdens increase, holistic health therapies, and psychosomatic symptoms are all examples of how strong this bond can be.

5. Individual skills function by developing and sequencing of rep systems

This presupposition is the basis of NLP Modeling. We receive information from the environment using our five senses. We use these representational systems (V: Visual, A: Auditory, K: Kinesthetic, O: Olfactory, G: Gustatory) not only to understand the environment, but also to learn and form certain skills.

Knowing how someone receives, stores, and processes information can help us build better report, as well as helping others and ourselves to update our mindsets or learn new skills. Sub-modality techniques such as the Swish Pattern or Visual Squash are examples of the application of this presupposition.

6. We respect each person's model of the world

We may disagree with someone, and we don't need to always agree with everyone. But everyone has their own model of what they call and believe to be reality. When we choose to respect this, we are better able to find ways to understand each other better, reduce potential conflict, and achieve more cooperation and positive outcomes.

Jumping to conclusions, reacting emotionally, being defensive, or judging and giving a certain stigma. All of that will only hurt yourself because it can eliminate opportunities. Look at others calmly from behind the glasses of understanding, avoid judging or arguing unnecessarily, use empathy and not just think about winning and losing, and live a better life than those who are actually intelligent but fail to understand this simple wisdom. All of that may be a way to live life more fully and reassuringly.

7. Person and behavior describe different phenomena. We are more than our behavior.

The concept that humans are more than just their behavior is a very deep one. The value of man goes far beyond his behavior. Behavior merely expresses a person's style, level of understanding, or mindset, and these cannot be used to determine a person's identity.

Judging or identifying someone solely on the basis of their behavior, regardless of whether that behavior is appropriate or not, may be a common thing to do but not the right thing to do. We may dislike someone's behavior (perhaps including our own), but we must not dislike the person, because behavior will never define a person.

8. Every behavior has utility and usefulness-in some context

This presupposition may sound a little counter-intuitive. Many behaviors are unreasonable, upsetting, inappropriate, or even provocative and threatening that humans do to each other. Intuitively we generally respond to "problem" behaviors of this kind, or someone we perceive as the source of the problem, by trying to stop, change, or (perhaps the easiest way) ignore them. But Milton Erickson, the world's leading psychiatrist and hypnotherapist, and from whom NLP is modeled, has a different view and approach.

Erickson views unpleasant behaviors exhibited by a person not as a distraction or opposition, but rather as a resource which, when properly empowered, can be utilized to produce positive outputs. In NLP, this perspective and approach is known as Utilization.

Each behavior has a purpose and a use, because humans are designed to do things for a reason. Find the hidden motivation behind a behavior, and find ways to empower and direct that motivation to achieve the desired goals through better and, of course, more rewarding ways.

9. We evaluate behavior and change in terms of context and ecology

NLP is influenced by an important concept called Systems Theory. Systems theory is an interdisciplinary study of systems that views a system as a cohesive group of interrelated, interdependent, and mutually influencing parts. Because they are interrelated, changes made to one part of the system will also affect and change other parts of the system.

Systems Theory is valid and can be applied to our bodies, families, organizations, nations, and the world. When assessing or wanting to change something, we need to consider the effect it might have on other parts of the system, as well as the impact on the entire system or other related systems. With this understanding, we can evaluate individual behavior from a broader perspective, and give us more ability to implement changes with systemic impacts.

10. We cannot not communicate

We always communicate, even when we are sitting quietly with our mouths tightly closed. Your appearance, your accent, your body language, your facial expressions, everything speaks and always conveys something to your environment.

Humans are always observing and judging each other all the time. We cannot but always interpret the behavior and "signals" of others. This is the most primitive part of our subconscious mind which is always on the lookout for any potential danger, and the part which is always judging who is the best potential ally or partner.

The more you are able to align your subconscious mind with your goals, the more capable your behavior will be to communicate the right message. And this will not only enable you to communicate more effectively, but also give you more opportunities to impact and effect change. On the other hand, this understanding can make you better able to understand each other, including the behavior and motivation behind it, by consciously reading the non-verbal communication conveyed by the people around you.

11. The way we communicate affects perception and reception

We communicate not only by what we say, but more by how we say it. Studies conducted by Dr. Mehrabian in 1967 concluded that the interpretation of a communication is 7% verbal (what we say), 38% vocal (pronunciation, such as intonation), and 55% visual (mimic, body language, etc.). In other words, when speaking we do so 93% non-verbally.

Someone's understanding of what we convey is not determined by what we say, but rather the presentation method we use and the "filter" used by listeners. A sincere compliment that we convey with a sweet smile can be interpreted differently when we convey it with, for example, a cynical smile. And the swearing that we say when joking with close friends can actually make friendship even tighter. Judging a book only by its cover is not good, but in communication the cover we use to package words is very important, because it can determine the meaning and response of your listeners.

12. The meaning of communication lies in the response you get

What you want to convey and what your listeners understand are two different things. The meaning of a communication does not depend on your intentions, but rather on the interpretation of your listeners, and you can find out that by observing your listeners' responses.

For example, the phrase "Nothing lasts forever" would be a comforting consolation to someone in the midst of a disaster, but might make someone at the height of their glory anxious or compelled to contemplate. Another example, the advice you give to someone who is open-minded might be interpreted positively, but to a defensive ear it might be understood as judgment and anger.

Whenever you speak, observe your audience's response. When you feel that what you are trying to say doesn't seem to get across or is interpreted differently, do something about it. Try conveying it in a different way, change your approach and way of speaking, use a different choice of terms, or something else. If it's still the same, there's no need to insist or try to get your point across, it's just a waste of time and energy, just shut your mouth tightly or change the subject.

A little extra note. It may sound strange, but there are some people who will deliberately misunderstand you. This is a common tactic that people use to question your views, put you in doubt, provoke your emotions, or, in short, when they try to manipulate you. By getting used to observing the response of the other person, you will be better able to understand the true motives behind someone's words and behavior, and can be more creative in choosing the right response. NLP is a powerful weapon against these manipulative people.

13. The one who sets the frame for the communication controls the action

Communication never stands alone and always consists of, and is influenced by, many factors. By understanding the frame of a communication, you can better influence the direction and outcome of that communication.

The frame of communication, such as assumptions about the reason or purpose of the communication, the value of the communication, or some other factor, always comes with a set of presuppositions. These presuppositions can be constructive, as they provide positive guidance and clear direction. But they can also be damaging, for example when they distort the meaning of communication and bias it.

When engaging in communications, especially important and crucial ones, observe the frames that are being used. Consider whether the frame is supporting or detrimental to your goals. And, if necessary, change the frame with the one that is more useful and beneficial for you. Because often a slight change in the frame can make the same painting look different or much classier.

14. There is no failure, only feedback

This presupposition invites us to look at failure from a different point of view. Not as a defeat or embarrassing mistake, but more as experience and learning.

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." Thomas Alva Edison

There is an interesting story behind the invention of the electric light. Thomas Alva Edison, the inventor of the light bulb, made thousands of lamps that failed to light up before succeeding in making one that (eventually) was able to light up for only a few seconds. When asked what made him not give up and keep trying, Edison's answer was, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

Rarely in life do we immediately find the best method of doing something on our first attempt, and we can always find a better way than the one we are currently or have used. Sometimes the best methods we have for doing things are just intention and trial-and-error, and over time we become more proficient by learning from our successes and, especially, our failures.

Doing nothing might make you look perfect because you never fail, but it can also get you nowhere other than just hanging around in the same place. Waiting until all risks are completely gone or 100% sure before starting something may not be realistic, because there will always be risks and in this world nothing will ever be certain or perfect.

Don't delay, just do it and move on, and take advantage of failure as feedback to learn and do better, because if at that time Edison gave up, the face of the world and our way of life might look much different from what we know today.

15. The person with the most flexibility exercises the most influence in the system

If tigers survive with their claws and fangs, and deer with their running speed, then the strongest weapon that God has bestowed on humans to survive is probably the ability to learn and adapt.

Instead of getting stuck in patterns, ways, or things that you (or other people) "usually" think and do, you need to be able and willing to see a situation from a higher and different point of view. Being flexible means that you choose to break free from rigid imperatives, observe situations from many angles, and find and pursue opportunities that others may not see.

An inflexible person can only function well within a certain culture, method, or way of life. Take them out of their comfort zone, and they won't be able to adapt. Life is all about change, and that means we need flexibility. Because only those who are flexible will survive in the midst of change and be able to make a significant impact on the entire system.

16. Resistance indicates the lack of rapport

Resistance, whatever its form, is actually just the product of a bad rapport. Rapport, in Hypnosis and NLP, are terms used to describe an interaction that is comfortable, harmonious, and trusting between all parties who are interacting. Communication is always a two-way interaction: talking and listening to each other. Without rapport, communication is almost impossible, because it is difficult to hear and understand someone's words properly when, for example, we are suspicious or don't like the person we are talking to.

In communication, rapport is very important. Humans are not just creatures with logic, but also have emotions that can sometimes be irrational. When someone hears someone's speech, sometimes what is seen is not how logical the contents of what is said, but rather the way the words are said or who said them.

When your interactions with someone are difficult, there's no need to be emotional or insistent, it will only make you less flexible and increase resistance. What you need to do is stay calm and build rapport right away.

17. People have the internal resources they need to succeed

This presupposition believes that everyone has the ability within themselves to do their best, develop to be better, and be successful. This can lead to excellence, because when you believe in the internal resources that other people have, then you believe in the abilities of your colleagues, your clients, your family, including not underestimating your competitors.

“Our biggest limit is not in what we want and cannot do; it is in what we have never considered that we can do.” Richard Bandler

There are no "failed people", but those who refuse to grow, underestimate themselves, give up before starting, or have not realized their potential. Everyone is capable of doing things in the best way possible, including me, you, and everyone else.

18. Humans have the ability to experience one-trial learning

You've probably seen someone keep falling in the same hole, over and over again. Whether it's in choosing a partner, job, decisions made, or choices made in life. This happens because they do not learn from experience and continue to choose to use the old way that they believe is the truth.

Everything that is done must bear fruit, be it sweet or bitter. If you put candy ingredients into the candy machine, what you will get, of course, is candy. As long as the mindset and methods used are the same, the results obtained will always be the same or similar. When the fruit you get is sweet, continue, but if it's bitter, maybe it's time to stop for a moment, evaluate the situation, learn from experience, and do it in a different way that is more favorable in the future.

19. All communication should increase choice

When you pay attention to the frame of communication, and develop learning skills and flexibility, then you have the ability to expand the options, both for you and for the entire system.

Hidden agendas limit choices. A rigid mindset limits choices. Failing or refusing to see someone's potential or positive side limits choices. Free yourself and those you interact with from unnecessary boundaries. Because it is our job to increase opportunities and choices, for ourselves and for others.

20. People make the best choices open to them when they act

There is always potential in a person. People make bad choices often not because they are incapacitated. They may actually have the best options within them, but are not yet aware of them or have not chosen to use them.

In life you may encounter people who always stumble upon unnecessary problems, get stuck in the same detrimental patterns such as continuing to fail at work or relationships, or seem to prefer arguing over implementing solutions that actually solve their problems. Don't be mad at them, oftentimes simple directions, proper training, or a small encouragement is all what they need. Because often in life new options appear when we choose to do something, not when we sit still or wait for it to appear.

21. As response-able persons, we can run our own brain and control our results

Everyone is responsible for the results they achieve and how they feel. It's easier to be successful or feel comfortable in a conducive situation, but that doesn't mean we need or have to become murky in an unsupportive situation.

When a person learns to be their own master, they have more important things to do than complain about how a person or a situation makes them feel uncomfortable. And instead of looking for scapegoats, he chooses to use bad achievements as a learning tool so that next time he can better ensure the results are as expected. Furthermore, instead of "accepting reality", he chose to interpret the situation as a call to use creativity to find solutions for the best results. It's not just about emotional maturity, it's about controlling the results you achieve and how you feel.

Those who don't understand this waste a lot of time and energy complaining about all sorts of things. Starting from the bad results they got, to the discomfort they felt. No one needs to walk this kind of way of life. Everyone has the right to choose, whether they want to focus on what is really important and beneficial to them, or busy contemplating fate and looking for something to blame.